I FINALLY LET GO !

ain't nothing like writing a blog listening to john mayer ; he is the greatest ... but anyways i feel so good i finally let go of adrien ; i think this could be a new start for me and i think ima be a whole lot happier ; cause i feel great now .. he will always be the same ; i mean he is playing his girlfriend now like how you gotta have another girl as your background on myspace but yet have a girlfriend .. it was funny to me .. she is getting played but not even realizing it .. but whatever im moving on to bigger and better things ... it didn't take me long to get over him cause he wasn't that important in the first place .. && on top of that i know god will bless me because of my good deeds & how i think of other peoples feelings ... im glad i know i deserve better and he didn't deserve me ; he is just missin' out on a good thing .. but i don't care cause he better not try to come back cause ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN . im definitely not taking him back he is NOT for me && i know someone is out there who will love me for me ...and plus i am no LONGER take relationships seriously cause time consuming and stressful . im just a KID .. im just gonna have fun and live my life and if a boy comes they come .


- s.von .

DOIN' what's BEST for me .

well i no longer talk to adrien ; he officially played me like it was nothing ... this whole RELATIONSHIP was a joke to him . i fell for all this BS . i feel stupid cause i've took him back more than once and im just like how stupid can i be ; he so called changed but you call getting a UGLY girlfriend ... changing and then still try to talk to me when he has a girlfriend since april 30th and im just now finding out about it yesterday ...some BULLshxt . ugh i hate boys and i hate girls cause she one more time to look at me funny ... but it sucks cause ima gonna miss talking to him and what not but he messed me over and there is no wayy im gonna keep coming back to that .. why does love hurt so much ? but whatever i probably really just miss the thought of us NOT him .. cause he was a PLAYER . big TIME . i just wasted like almost 3yrs of my life cause all this crap was based on a lie .. they only way i could make myself feel good is if i BLOCKED HIM from him myspace and delete his number outta my phone .. i have been this hurt or felt betrayed in a LONG LONG time .. i know i will get better cause GOD has someone out there for me who will treat me right ... and on top of that he downgraded big time cause chick ain't got no hair or anything but whatever .... i just hope everything gets better for me ; i just wish he cared ... life goes on and you live and you learn .


- he never really loved me ... =/

- s.von

love changes .

first ima start by saying when this person wrote me this it seemed so real at the time ... but the way things are going now just seems like he just doesn't care how i feel anymore ... so maybe it's time for me to move on who knows cause im sick of feeling like im nothing ... and whatever he is doing right now makes everything different between us and it's only pushing me away eventually to another guys arms .. i don't want that ... but hey here it goes ...


i love you because everything we've been through since the break up i feel its brought us closer which is a shocker . because i thought we wouldnt talk after that i guess its love between you and me . your everything i could ask for , i wouldn't change anything about you . and everything i said in our past relationship was real and til this day i mean it . i guess in the future you'll see baby and im sorry for making you go through all that pain , because deep down inside i never wanted to be with anyone but you and i hope you feel the same way. thats why I LOVE YOU so much sierra von guillaume ...


okay okay that what he wrote to back in the summer of 08' ...but now it seems like all those words are just BLAH & down the drain ... i just want that old thing back ; cause i miss the old him ... cause it seems like everything he does i feel like he as someone on the side ... idk yo .

" you dont even try no more "
- s.von .

random things on my mind ...

i gotta stop living in this FANTASY world ... cause i know everything is not gonna go my way ... yeah i just wish life was a fairytale so then everyone could have happy endings ... but guess what ? life doesn't work that way because it comes with trials and tributlations . which really suckss cause then comes all the pain in struggle .. but then agian if we didn't have all those things then we wouldnt be able to learn from our mistakes ..cause believe me i've made alot mistakes in my past and i've learned from them and it's only made me a better person ... besides life not being a fairytale ... i so WISH love was that wayyy then we wouldn't have the LIARS . PLAYERS . CHEATERS . HOMEWRECKERS . then the love life would be oh so simple and the girls and guys could keep the ones that they are in love with .. off topic.. so last night i was singing in the studio and i had to sing SO GONE by monica and like i wasn't getting the full emotions of things .. so they told me to think of my love one cheating on me && trust he has pretty much done that alot in the past ... so i just closed my eyes and thought about all the hurt and the pain he caused me and the song CAME out beautifully done .. it was hard cause i almost started to cryyy ... me im just sooo freaking sensitive haha it's terrible .. but whatever that was a true learning experience . but idk hopefully things in my love life will get better and we can grow and become stronger in our relationship as well as a couple .. but who knows i have faith in it but i can't predict the future only GOD can .. as you can see i am NOT GOD . but i hope for the best in my future .. anyways im done ... just felt like saying what was on my mind ... =]

- s.von .

"love cannot exist in the individual who cannot be jealous"

"love is reinforced by jealousy"

feeling good ......

im feeling pretty good today ... never been better things been have okay i don't why i deleted my other blogs but you guy pretty much know how i feel about adrien ... and for the stupid hoe that called me a dick feen last night STFU ! cause you don't know shxt . but anyways me and him are okay i guess we haven't really talked about it but yeah.. idk people who say stuff about me and him and try to get in the way of our relationship pisses me off it's just like get on with your life and leave mine ALONE . but he got too many darn groupies i can't even count on one hand from the DC hoes to the VA sluts ..lmao that's just how i feel and if you think im talkin bout you then i probably am .. stupid hoes . yeah so for now im let go of the little things && not let them get to me soo EASILY .. cause thats one of my bad habits . but whatever i feel like this whole situation that im going through will only make me stronger as a person ;) cause what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and thats a true story .. quote i will live by when i think it's the end of the world .. but anyways if this wanna be fairytale that im living in fails ; which im hoping it last .. god will bless me with someone im suppose to be with ...ya know ? i hate all those homewreckers out there because if some girl took someone you liked you would be devastated so why go around doing that to other girls .. you gotta think about other peoples feelings cause that's not right AT all . idk i just have a big heart and im very sensitive and emotional when it comes to relationships ..cause im willing to do whatever it takes to fix things when it isn't going right ya know .. but whatever .. i don't care what anyone thinks ANYMORE ... i love who i love and there is nothing you can do about it ... and adrien you know how i feel about you so there is NO need to write it down anymore ... but whatever ... i hate the girls who get in the WAY .. remember that whatever you do comes back to you ..


" trust no nigga ; fear NO chick ."

- s.von .

NEXT STEP ?

blah ; i feel so impatient ... im so ready for the next level man ; im tired of being single !!! not saying im not satisfied now ; it just seems like he isn't on the same page im on ; like he doesn't really care what we are ... i just don't know what we are and im TIRED of not knowing and it's killing me ; gosh idk maybe im just wanting things too soon .. honestly we do have alot to work on such as TRUST ISSUES =/ .. cause thats the first thing you should have in a relationship TRUST && HONESTY ! thats the truth .. and on top of that he has wayyyy too many groupies for me i feel like sometimes i have to fight for his attention and it's really frustrated cause i want him all to mySELF . i don't like him talkin to other girls or none of that mann i'm just STINGY . i don't really consider that jealousy ; honestly love isn't love without a lil bit of jealousy .. feel me ? but everyone has their own opinions so whatever ... but yeah i just want a FREAKIN boyfriend ... i just wish he would hurry up and pop the dang question ... lmao i sound like we are getting married or something .. but my goodness just hurry up already .. im just sick of being single it's starting to GET old now ... haha yes summer is coming up but i don't wanna be single during the summertime cause i wanna have my significant other on my arm going to the beach and ish ... i sound like i wanna fairytale thats not gonna happen but whatever ... im outtie

so tired of playing love roller coaster .

- s.von .