BOYFRIEND MUCH ?

i wanna a boyfriend ; but im diggin what i have now ... it's going GREAT =] im glad we taking things slow or whatever .. its good . he's wonderful im not gonna do anything to mess up what me and him have it's wayy too special but whatever .. i know it's almost summertime and i know thats the time when every girl wants to be single ... haha idk im smoking or im on some other ish . ha but whatever anyways i know things ain't always gonna go my way ; cause life doesn't work that way .. but then another part of me knows that i suck at relationships cause i just never really put effort into any of them except the one i have now ;; on and off me and him for a LONG time .. my goodness i couldn't even start to tell you the things we've been through . but we past that crap now i mean i FORGIVE but i NEVER forget and thats real . but yeah i don't know i guess when the time comes i'll be happy && ready cause right now me and him are SOMETHING but i would like to know what we are and where we stand ??? hmm it remains a mystery .

-s.von .

infatuated with love B i G time . =]

SOUL MATE ; GROWING APART ?

man when we started talking again ; everything was going GREAT like nothing could break us apart again ... and it's like when it's the middle of our relationship things get different like we ain't the same people we just always on different pages and when something doesn't go your way it's like we just stop talking as much and boyyy lemme tell you I HATE NOT TALKING TO YOU ! cause it's like when you love someone you don't ever wanna go a day with out talking them cause they are always on your mind like no matter how much you don't want them to be ... they ARE ! but yeah it's crazy cause i would give anything in the world to be with him FOREVER . ha call me crazy but it's just how i feel ... i know he was put in my life for a reason and im not letting go this time . if we could hang on to eachother almost 3yrs off and on then we can make it through thick and thin ... i don't know maybe im just over reacting thinking about things way too much and getting worked up over nothing ... im just tired of feeling like i never satisfy him cause it hurts me ...cause i just wanna be perfect for him ; so he won't have to go to someone else to get it . you know i don't know man love is the most complicated thing ever .. i don't think i'll ever get the full grasp of how things work ya know ? i pray that things will get better .. idk everyday gets harder because people are gonna run there mouths and talk crap and saying how your no GOOD . and blah blah if you aren't no good then i rather learn for myself ... but so far you have been honest with me but right now i don't know what the deal is ... things always get worse before they get better ... and i sure hope it gets better .. well im out .

love is such a dangerous GAME !

s.von .

CARE FREE

im so over people in this world man ; they ALL aggravate me like seriously ... im honestly starting to be like forget having friends cause they are all RETARDED anyway man . it's soo annoying ... AND girls now a days are sooooooo freaking PHONY. like really wtf ? it's whatever yo im really starting to have this I DON'T GIVE A fxck attitude . cause this crap is getting old ... im tired of girls getting worked up over some guy . SHOOT if he doesnt want you THEN he don't want you face IT ! don't go after someone elses guy ; that's just rude . BUT girls don't care cause they are FREAKING obnoxious . but whatever so for now i don't care im not making no MORE efforts in making friendships work . we ain't cool then we aint cool it's whatever cause TRUST i won't lose sleep over it . AND i definitely don't trust no one anymore cause people talk wayy too much man and it's irritating .. it just like SHUT UP like forreal . i ONLY trust GOD , my sisters and my one best friend that i do have ... but anyways life goes on .. you LOSE some you GAIN some . so im no longer worried .. IM CARE FREE ! don't like it ; I REALLY DON'T care .. and thats real .

toodles .

s.von =]

what's on my MIND !

have you ever felt like you gave your all too someone and it's never satisfying to them ... idk it's just like i wanna be everything someone needs so their is no complaints about anything . and then when you LOVE someone you just wanna be everything they want in a person ; so they won't EVER leave you . cause im scared of losing someone that i love so DEEPLY . call me crazy but i know there is someone out there who feels the same as me ... BUT it's like whenever i do or say something it's NEVER right . I JUST WANNA be perfect for them . idk it's like im so LOST in LOVE ; that it freaks me out ...im just very sensitive to certain things and certain people . people ask me all the time have you ever been in love ; and aren't you too young to know what love is ... I GET so annoyed by that . YES I KNOW what love is cause im in love now and no matter how hard i try to get over this person and NOT think about this person . ITS MENTALLY impossible .. idk why i always feel like im never good enough.. and i don't feel like the ONLY girl in this guys life .. i feel like there is A MILLION others on the side .. whatever though ; cause hopefully he will realize that my heart is in his HANDS ... if he breaks it then idk what im gonna do .. but im gonna leave it at the that for now ; just had to get this off my chest ..

you live and you learn .. and you truly only love once . THATs what i believe .

s.von .

PULLED OVER ON FOOT BY COPS !

wow , i had a great weekend . man friday was crazy me and my partner in crime/cousin shanice aka butta . we were walking a field and this boy had ran into us while we were walking or whatever . then NEXT thing you know cops pulling flashing flash lights in our faces asking where we going and blah blah ... me i was soo scared i never been stopped by cops before . haha but anyways they asked me and my cousin our names and he checked us into the system or whatever cause he said we were trespassing but we didn't get charged or anything thank god . and MAN the dude we ran into throw all his crap into the bushes and crap MONEY WEED everything . I WAS LIKE OMG !!!! i was scared but there is a first time for everything the cops were super nice and everything .